I am not a security threat. And, my middle name is "Kurt", not "Fart."

For the Young Adult Costume Party... I came as Dwight. I like me.

And for some kicks... some Dwight quotes:

If I could menstruate, I wouldn’t have to deal with idiotic calendars anymore. I’d just be able to count down from my previous cycle. Plus, I’d be more in tune with the moon and the tides

Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up I performed my own circumcision

I keep various weaponry strategically placed around the office. I saved Jim’s life with a can of pepper spray I had velcro’d under my desk. People say, “oh, it’s dangerous to keep weapons in the home or the workplace”. Well I say, “it’s better to be hurt by someone you know accidentally than by a stranger on purpose.

The eyes are the groin of the head.