Where the blog becomes a diary :/

Dear Blog,

I have felt I have hit an all time low. For this sole fact: this evening my father informed me of a future "prospect" he has arranged to contact me. Yes, my dad is trying to hook me up. *cringing distressed face* He is so sweet, my father that is.... but I am quite comfortable with him NOT being in that arena of my life.

Don't get me wrong, I want to get married and have babies. But I am not desperate. Not yet, that is. Haha. I don't want to be "that girl" the longing, dissatisfied girl.

And this whole "patient" thing requires daily self pep talks. It is frickin' frackin' hard. When the multitudes around you are getting hitched and popping out the young, and you are knitting in solitude on a saturday evening.... you start to think this whole "live it up single life" is kind of a joke. So it takes mental work to be okay. You start to understand how fragile it is when your dad comes in your room, sits down, and explains that he arranged someone to contact me. I lost it, a bit.

I know I can't worry and that I have to trust God... And I am not sure I "have to" remind the Almighty that I will 25 years old in 1 year and 5 months... Tic toc! Oh yea... I am not supposed to put limits on God! ;)

God is the center of my life, not my relationship status. I know this.

Farewell reader.

Slightly distraught and perplexed,
and as always, truthful,

Hannah

PS- I am really okay. This is not a cry for help. I am just honest.