You see, I have always asked, "God, what is your will? Whatever it is, I will do it? What is it? What is your will for me? What's my purpose? What do you want me to do?" I have prayed prayers of deep consecration. I just want to do his will. But, I usually don't get answers. I don't. And I have to be real enough to admit this. When I don't get answers, I get down on myself. I beat myself up for not being able to hear his voice. Am I praying enough? Reading my bible enough? Should I fast? I have fallen into the trap of religiosity: depending on hearing God with my own strength and attempts. Blagggghhhh!
So even now, I have the world at my fingertips. I can DO ANYTHING I want to. Anything, really. How can one feel crippled by absolute freedom. The daunting, religious spirit of the "will of God" expectation.
God kind of threw it in my face. Why do I want to do the will of Him? I truly believe that if you get out of the will of God, I will fail at whatever I do and misery will beseech me. I don't want that! So am I....
1. WANTING PEACE/ PROSPERITY/ SAFETY/ GOOD THINGS as a result> I SEEK THE WILL OF GOD.
-OR-
2. SEEK THE WILL OF GOD as a result> "Those things are added unto me..."
*Hint: No. 2 is the best/ right way*
Hmm... I never thought of it that way. So I need to do a little bit of a heart check.
God is a God of GRACE and MERCY. A God that promises to take care of us and never forsake us. He promises to guide us and even take us by our hand and lead us. He forgives. He loves. He rescues. He wants the best for us.
So we can't be crippled by religious ideas. Keep is pure and true: seek first the Kingdom of God. Love God. Love People.
Hey, this is long, so read only when you have like 2 days to commit to it. But I really wanted to reply and I hope it helps.
ReplyDeleteDo you ever feel like the feeling of a "lack of direction" is compiled by those around you who seem to have such a clear calling? People that seem to know emphatically that they want to be a minister, a missionary, involved in an outreach program in a very specific social-niche, a teen worker, etc.? I know for years I've always wondered how some can be so inspired and so driven to go over seas for mission work, or who head straight into Bible college to be a future evangelist, and yet my heart remained unmoved in any particular direction. I've always known I wanted to do great things for God, to serve Him with all that I have, and to use the talents He has given wisely, righteously, and in a way that would maximize their value. Yet, I could never get a clear direction, and those around me would always say I could pretty much choose any area, confident of my success. Which seems like the best answer "do what you want", but sometimes you just want to be told what to do, you know? What I wouldn't give if God were to leave me a little sticky note on the fridge every morning with a To Do list.
Over time I've done more and more study, meditation, prayer on the idea of Free Will and trying to figure out why expressions like "Everything happens for a reason" drive me absolutely insane. I truly believe God has blessed those diggings into His word, and through those studies shown me why those statements didn't sit right, as well as giving me a much larger perspective on those spiritual dreams we all want to have. This really isn't the place to lay all of those findings out (your blog spam would probably assume I was some spam-bot selling encyclopedias or something and block me) and you'd have to drop a few hundred bucks on coffee to have enough caffeine to stay awake long enough to read it all, so in short, here's a very, very, very condensed statement:
In situations where I've been praying for advice and insight, and there seems to be no clear cut answer despite prayer, study of the Word, and conversations with other disciples, I believe that means there is no right or wrong choice, just opportunities for me to stay close to God and to seek to glorify Him with WHATEVER direction I take. Sometimes I don't think God cares where we work, or where we live, etc, He cares more about HOW we work, HOW we live, and WHAT we're doing with our time/actions in those places. Do I believe some have very specific callings? Absolutely. The scriptures list tons of gifts (like in 1 Cor 12), some of which make it very clear how those people would serve, others are very open ended, which could be used in many different ways, yet all in serving the Kingdom. Do I believe God will shut us down if make a wrong choice, or work through it for His glory? Without a doubt. The Spirit shut down Paul from speaking in Asia, and took Philip waaaay out of his way to teach the Ethiopian Eunuch about Christ before sending him back to preach in the complete opposite direction, where he was probably trying to go in the first place. And Romans 8 speaks very much that God can use any situation for His glory if we seek Him. (Just look at Jesus' lineage - talk about messed up situations!)
ReplyDeleteI know that's probably not a lot of comfort if you're really wanting a specific direction, but the way I look at is kind of like you stated on your own - absolute freedom. Maybe certain individuals are given the privilege of changing their calling on a yearly, monthly, weekly, daily, hourly basis, in anyway necessary to facilitate the Gospel. Maybe they've been given a wide skillet that's so malleable God wants to use it in EVERY way, not just in one or another. Maybe some get to see a need and run to it, investing as much (or as little) time that's needed until it is taken care of because God has given them the gift of versatility. So maybe a lack of direction, IS our direction. We're free of the burden that having specific goal can cause, especially if we're struggling to complete it, and allowed to live each day as a new mission - no known destination, just knowing we'll be doing God's will throughout.
I really appreciate your heart and openness in your blog, and these are simply my learnings in my walk thus far. I look to grow in them and expect God to refine them, but if they can help encourage you in anyway as they stand now, then Praise God.
Brett "Regretting cutting my hair so short while it's still 4˚" Hibbler